


We lay on beds, in a hospital without correct drugs

by pepi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sara Rogers is awesome, Sick Steve Rogers, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi/pseuds/pepi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The doctors, the priest, they all had given up on Steve, again. But Bucky won’t give up. He can’t give up on Steve. He needs him to know how much he loves him. </p>
<p>Featuring Sarah Rogers as the mother Steve deserves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We lay on beds, in a hospital without correct drugs

**Author's Note:**

> No beta. English is not my first language.
> 
> Title from the wonderful song “Cool Ethan” by the amazing The Xcerts.

“Please Stevie, don’t do this to me… Please…“  
It was no use, no matter how hard Bucky had tried, he couldn’t stop the tears from running down his face as he held Steve’s hand in his, watching the small boy breathing uneven and too shallow. Bucky’s heart broke into millions of pieces watching his best friend like this. He couldn’t stand the thought of… No, he couldn’t bring himself to even think it. No matter what everyone said, the doctors, Sarah, the priest who had just left after giving Steve his last rites. They all were sure Steve would not survive the night, but Bucky knew better. He knew Steve; he knew his strength, his will to live. And he also knew; he could not go on living without Steve by his side. He needed Steve.   
“Steve, you listen to me you little shit. You can’t die on me! You just can’t. I need you. I… Steve I love you! I do, I really do.”  
Bucky took a sharp breath, his knees hurt from where he was kneeling on the floor next to Steve’s bed, but he didn’t care. He would endure every pain the world could throw at him, as long as Steve would get better.  
“And I don’t just mean I love you like a friend, like a brother… No, I love you more than anyone in this whole god damn world. You ARE my world… Please stay with me. I just… I just need to see you smile at me again… Please…”  
His tears were now running down his face in rivers and his voice was wet and rough. He didn’t care. He just wanted Steve to survive, to come back to him.  
“Please stay. I love you, I want to be with you. I want to hold you, kiss you, make you laugh. Please wake up so I might get the courage to one day tell you just how much you mean to me. I can deal with you hating me for it, I really can. I just can’t deal with you dying. And also… You’re too good to hate me, right? You’re just to god damn good to hate me for loving you… And fucking hell you are to god damn good to die!”  
A shy cough from the door made Bucky turn around, looking at Sarah Rogers with big, teary eyes. How much had she heard? Will she kick him out? Will she kick him out for cursing or for loving her son the way he was supposed to love girls? But she just smiled at him and came closer, a handkerchief in hand.   
“Here Bucky, try your tears, blow your nose. You are a mess. And we can’t have that. You can’t kiss my son when you look like this. He deserves better.”  
Bucky starred at her as he took the handkerchief und blew his nose and try some of his tears, just for more tears to run down his cheeks.  
“My boy is a fighter. And he might be unconscious at the moment, but I’m sure he heard you; he understood what you just said. And he will fight even more than before to get back to you, to finally get that kiss from you he has been dreaming of since he was 14.”  
Bucky looked back at Steve, his wonderful, beautiful Steve.  
“Your heard what I said? You’re not mad???”  
He couldn’t believe it. Sarah Rogers was a good woman, she was Steve’s mom. She probably was the best woman Bucky had ever met, besides his own mother, but still: his feelings were wrong, illegal… And he might get Steve into trouble for them.  
“Why should I be mad? You love my son with so much heart, it’s beautiful. He deserves that. He deserves someone to love him besides me. And who better to love my son than the boy he loves?”  
Bucky tore his eyes away from Steve to once again stare at Sarah in disbelieve.  
“He loves me?”  
She smiled and sat down next to Bucky on the floor, stroking her son’s hair.  
“Of course he loves you, has for years. He was so hurt when I had to tell him he couldn’t scream it out to the world, that there are people who will hate him for loving you. But he still loves you with all his heart.”  
Of course Steve wouldn’t know about their love not being what people considered normal and acceptable. Of course he wouldn’t let that stop him.  
“I love him so much… I can’t… I… I need him to survive, I need him!”  
Before he knew what was happening, Sarah had wrapped her arms around Bucky’s shoulders and hugged him close to her chest.  
“He will survive. You two will be so happy together. I know it.”  
Bucky let his tears flow freely now and enjoyed the motherly love he could feel coming from Sarah. After a few minutes of silence, Sarah talked again.  
“I have to get some groceries and the medicine the doctor wouldn’t give me because he had no faith in Steve. Will you stay with Steve while I’m gone?”  
“Of course!”  
He untangled himself from Sarah and took Steve’s hand in his again. Sarah smiled and blushed a bit before she talked again.  
“You can, if you want I mean, get on the bed with him? The extra warmth might help him and… Well, he will sure as hell appreciate the company.”  
For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Bucky stared at Sarah in disbelieve. Not only did she swear, no, she wanted him to get on the bed with Steve.  
“Don’t look so scandalized young boy. From today on this flat will probably be the only place you two can be who you really are. I’m just making sure you two are safe. For now, you just keep him warm and let him feel how much he is need in the world of the living. And when he is better… Well, as long as I don’t see or hear anything, I can’t stop you two from doing whatever it is you want to do. And now stop staring and get on that bed.”  
Bucky just nodded and got up from the floor to sit down on the bed. He took off his shoes and lay down next to Steve, turning to look at him and resting an arm on the small boy’s chest  
“I will stop at your place and let your parents know you will stay the night.”  
And with that, Sarah was gone and Bucky was left alone with Steve.  
“Steve, you have to come back to me! I love you and I know you love me and I need to tell you how much I love you when you can really hear me. Please Stevie… Please.”

Bucky had fallen asleep next to Steve before Sarah had come back from the store. She put a blanked on him and kissed Steve’s forehead, finally no longer burning hot, and then kissed Bucky’s forehead as well. God, she hoped Steve would make it, not just for her sake, but also for Bucky’s sake. And for Steve. Steve deserved to live. He also deserved to live knowing he was loved by that wonderful boy. He deserved so much.

Slowly Bucky blinked awake, taking in his surroundings. An arm around his waist, even breathing next to him. He opened his eyes fully now and was met by a tired but happy smile. A smile from Steve.  
“Steve…”  
“Hey Jerk. What are you doing in my bed?”  
Steve was smiling, he was alive, he was here with Bucky.  
“Steve… I love you.”  
Steve just stared at him.  
“Steve? Pal, say something.”  
But Steve didn’t say anything, he just launched himself forward and kissed Bucky. It was a painful kiss, teeth on teeth, no fineness at all. But it was the best kiss Bucky had ever experienced.   
Steve was alive. And Steve loved him. And he loved Steve.  
Not even Sarah’s cough from the door could stop him from smiling.  
“He survived!”  
“Of course he did. He has something, someone, to live for.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments and Kudos welcome.  
> (And now go listen to The Xcerts. Honestly, they are amazing! ;) )


End file.
